Dear Natalie,
I’ve recently broken up with my boyfriend who I had been seeing for 4 years. I thought we were going to get married, but everything turned upside down for me when I found out he was engaged to be married to another woman, and he never even told me!
I feel that I don’t have the energy to start my life all over again. How do I get over him and also be able to enjoy myself again and meet ‘My Mr Right’?
Please help me.
Diane
Dear Diane,
I want to firstly start by congratulating you!
It’s definitely not easy breaking up with someone that you loved and had been dating for 4 years. However, you should look at this as a positive opportunity to be given a second chance in life, and have the opportunity to start all over again. You now have a clean slate to work with. So get back into the dating world and don’t look back.
Keep yourself busy by going out with your girlfriends and accepting all invitations to parties. Take up new hobbies and just living life in general.
You must never rely on a boyfriend to make you feel whole. In reality no one can complete you and make you feel happy and fulfilled as a person, but YOU!
I am certain that you are a beautiful and smart woman with so much to offer one lucky man who is clever enough to realize your good qualities, and have you in his life.
When you start feeling down or start thinking about your ex, quickly stop yourself. Start going for walks and catching up with friends for coffee, as well as organizing dinner parties and lunches with groups of people. Keeping yourself busy with different activities is always good for a healthy mind and soul.
Men are especially attracted to happy and carefree women, so make sure every time you go out to a restaurant and bar you always smile at anyone who takes your fancy.
You’ll be surprised how quickly the men will run to you, when you show happiness and confidence in yourself.
I hope this helps,
Natalie
Is He the ONE?
Dear Natalie,
I have just started dating this guy, but how can I tell if he’s the right one and whether it’s worth seeing him?
Waiting to hear back,
Jackie
Dear Jackie,
Thank you for your letter.
Well, it’s very easy!
You need to be true to yourself and have a clear idea of what you really want in a partner and what you don’t want. So, if you discover in the next few weeks that this guy is not the one for you and that he has bad qualities, you can count your losses and move on without wasting too much of your precious time by following my simple ‘Bad Qualities list’.
Here are some bad qualities you should look out for that are non negotiable in any relationship-
He has a criminal record
He’s a mummy’s boy
He shows signs of being immature
You don’t feel any chemistry with him
He doesn’t make you feel happy and always leaves you asking questions in your mind about the state of the relationship.
He has different morals and beliefs to you
He’s already cheated on you.
You are totally incompatible
You want kids but he doesn’t want kids.
You want commitment but he doesn’t want commitment.
You can add your own list of bad qualities to mine, if you feel there are more than what I have written.
This list will allow you to eliminate the Mr Wrongs in your dating world and leave you only dating the ones that potentially qualify to be Your Mr Right.
Speaking of finding Mr Right, be sure to buy a copy of my book ‘The Menagerie’ as it will instantly set your mind at rest and help you find out if you are with Mr Right or Mr Wrong!
Good luck!
Natalie
He wants a break...
Dear Natalie
My boyfriend has told me he wants a break. He said for me not to read into it the wrong way and that he’s not seeing anyone else. But he never calls me anymore and I miss him!
Please tell me what should I do?
Anonymous.
Dear Anonymous,
It’s a difficult situation to be in and I’m sorry, but you must give him the time that he asks for. This way if he actually needs the break to assess his relationship with you he will do so without any extra pressure from you.
The important thing is that you also take this break to assess YOUR feelings towards him. Take advantage of this time and ask yourself these questions; Are you happy in this relationship? What do you want from a relationship? Then it won’t be a wasted break.
Don’t let him think he can take as long as he likes to assess the relationship though.
Let him know you will not be waiting around for him in the meantime and if he has not come back to you in 2 weeks, you might want to make it very clear to him that you are the one now wanting that break-permanently!
Be strong!
Natalie
He keeps speaking to his ex girlfriend ...
Dear Natalie
Just wondering whether you can help me with something….
My boyfriend keeps speaking to his ex girlfriend and I’m worried he’s still in love with her and will want to get back together with her.
Please tell me what should I do? Desperately waiting to hear back,
Sarah
Dear Sara,
It’s always very complicated when it involves an ex, so I’m going to be straight with you.
I certainly don’t think it’s appropriate for your boyfriend to be speaking with his ex girlfriend, but I don’t know the story behind it.
We can never control anyone else’s actions but our own, so the best thing you can do for yourself is let your boyfriend know that it bothers you when he speaks to his ex, and that you would prefer it if he didn’t.
Remind him that you DO TRUST HIM and that you are not trying to control his life, but you don’t like sharing him with another woman and that there’s no space for a third party in your relationship. Let him know that him speaking to his ex is only causing you a lot of grief and introducing a lot of unwanted trouble into the relationship.
If he ignores your requests and still continues to speak to his ex, I advise you to leave him, as he’s not treating you the way you should be treated. He’s not making you feel secure and loved in this relationship and therefore he’s not looking out for your best interests. If he’s not looking out for your best interests, he doesn’t love you. And why would you want to be in a relationship with someone that doesn’t love you?
I hope my advice will help you make the right decision, and one that’s best for you.
Natalie
Is He Mr Right?
I have just started dating this guy, but how can I tell if he’s the right one and whether it’s worth seeing him?
Waiting to hear back,
Jackie
Dear Jackie,
Thank you for your letter.
Well, it’s very easy! You need to be true to yourself and have a clear idea of what you really want in a partner and what you don’t want. So, if you discover in the next few weeks that this guy is not the one for you and that he has bad qualities, you can count your losses and move on without wasting too much of your precious time by following my simple ‘Bad Qualities list’.
Here are some bad qualities you should look out for that are non negotiable in any relationship-
He has a criminal record
He’s a mummy’s boy
He shows signs of being immature
You don’t feel any chemistry with him
He doesn’t make you feel happy and always leaves you asking questions in your mind about the state of the relationship.
He has different morals and beliefs to you
He’s already cheated on you.
You are totally incompatible
You want kids but he doesn’t want kids.
You want commitment but he doesn’t want commitment.
You can add your own list of bad qualities to mine, if you feel there are more than what I have written.
This list will allow you to eliminate the Mr Wrongs in your dating world and leave you only dating the ones that potentially qualify to be Your Mr Right.
Good luck!
